CELIBACY!!!!!! SEX NOW BEFORE I DIE o!!

   Okay this matter has been worrying my young brain to share for sometime now and its the issue of staying celibate until marriage. but first what is celibacy seff? it may have different definitions but for sake of some reading this i will keep the definition simple. Celibacy is basically you deciding to stay away from sex for the rest of your life or until marriage for several reasons best known to you. If you have been sexually active before now, this will be one tough decision to make considering urges and your hormones running crazy and mine wasnt any different. I recently got engaged and we decided to stay celibate until marriage and oh boy it has not been anything near easy at alllllll, notice i had to bold that part? that's my true confession walahi...... i bite my slippers to this one.
   I woke up one day and all hell broke loose, body just start to dey catch me, i had been away from sex for months now and that morning my body started talking, i felt fat and heavy like my body had become full! i looked in the mirror and could have sworn my head had gotten bigger like it would burst open soon, i tried calling my fiancee to negotiate with her on this decision but i knew i would hear her preach so i didn't bother, i decided to pray but my brother the matter didn't change, i suddenly realized i was angry at people that day at the office for no reason, infact one security guy greeted me outside "good morning oga ogbolor" i screamed at him "what is good about the morning!!! cant you see fuel price has increased and president Buhari isn't in the country?" but something inside me was asking me, "uncle what has fuel price and the president got to do with a simple greeting"? i knew i was just angry because like the boys would say"my body don full". I spent days angry, moody, switching from mood to mood, i could sum it up in just one word!! ....konji.... konji is a very wicked spirit i tell you, walahi!! after many days in this new crazy state, things started going out of control, ugly girls started looking hot in my eyes, i would find myself laughing hard at unnecessary jokes from the ugliest girl around me, i even suggested taking one dwarf friend on a date, even the girl looked at me like "is all well?". One morning i sneezed and i could swear German juice was dropping from my nose, this was when i knew something had to be done or else...... So i summoned all the courage and called bae, before i even landed she had quoted two scriptures to me and ended it with "you will not die", my jaw dropped and i think i felt like the biggest fool on earth. I stepped outside frustrated and shaking like i needed a quick fix, at the back of my head a voice whispers "go use vaseline or soap" hahahahaha i had to pause typing here to laugh hard, its funny now but it wasnt funny back then o, but the thought of "helping myself" irritated me still but same voice said "oga you never ready, you will just die for nothing, or do you wanna cheat?" cheating wasnt even an option since i had promised never to do that but mehhhn i needed to cure this crase.
  I stepped outside the house only to see a friend who asked me why i was adding some weight, "was it that obvious? so much carbohydrate in my system" well, i narrated the story to him and he in turn narrated his own to me and how his own caused him some psychological wahala, he said ............

"i came outside my house one day after months of intended celibacy and denial from my woman and found a chicken pecking at some corn on the floor, i don't know why but i stared at it for a while and even the poor chicken felt molested and all of a sudden it took off for no reason, i looked up to see if a hawk was roaming in the air but naaaaa, the fowl ran away from me o (laughs). A few days later, i saw a goat eating some grass and stood again staring at this goat, it turned and stared back at me, and for a few seconds we had a moment, eyes locked on each other and next thing i could have sworn it winked at me, i was startled but then it looked like it smiled and looked away, i asked myself "was this goat seducing me?... i kept walking behind it watching it sway its hips away, at this point i knew an evil spirit had taken over, i got closer and rubbed my hands on its back but suddenly the goat owner gave me a slap that re-formatted my brain, i must have stared so hard at that goat because next day i heared the goat died from shock"

........i laughed so hard after his story, and imagined myself in the news with headlines like "COMEDIAN OGBOLOR CAUGHT NAKED BEHIND A GOAT" lolzzz God forbid bad thing, see me thinking i was the only one i didnt know we had worse people haha but he encouraged me since he had been through it and somehow i found strength. Next day i woke up and all the crase had gone, Praaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiseeeeeeeeee the Loooooooord!!!! i took a cold shower and i was okay again. Listen, If you have made this choice to stay celibate till your wedding for whatever reason, maybe to get closer to God, to avoid STDs, to bond better with your partner outside sex, understand that the very time for temptation will come for you to compromise, but seek help either way and you will find it, don't bulge, speak to someone, avoid temptations that could make you compromise and stay faithful to your decision okay? Sex no be government work o!! lolz