LoVe sPEAks A LaNGuaGE.....

  I have always been a lover of any love related topic because I love to love and be loved (sad I'm still unmarried lol)... Everyone has a way they express love and want to be loved. What works for 'A' isn't what would work for 'B'. The sad part to this is that many haven't come to understand love first as being not just an emotion, but an act of giving.


 FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE.....

 When you ask some people what they want in a relationship, often times you would hear them jump into what they want from their partner, "I want a tall dark and handsome man who is God fearing, "I want a fair lady with big boobs and big butt who can cook very well" bla bla bla (all point towards receiving). How can you be the best thing that has happened to him/her? ...Giving.
  Sometime ago,I met this lady who talked with me about how it is the responsibility of one partner to fill the love tank of the other partner, she spoke extensively on how everyone has a love language they speak and why it is important for people to understand their love language and that of their partner so 'showing love' could be easy. You could find your own love language by asking yourself these questions

*what actions from people makes me feel good about myself
*what do I request the most from people (action wise)
*what do I complain the most about from my partner,or one before now?

  Once you can carefully find answers to theses questions, then you have identified your love language. But like earlier said, this is just part of it and today's post isn't about YOU and how you want to be loved, but about your partner and what their love language is. I will discuss these five love languages and so please read carefully.

(1) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: there are those who love words spoken to them. While this might not mean anything to some, it means the world to others. Some people grew up feeling not good enough, they never got compliments as kids, therefore the need to be
appreciated beckons reasons why when they are in a relationship, they want to
be appreciated for every little effort made. It might not be your thing to say words to people but if that is what fills the love tank of your partner, then drop 'SELF' and do it. Give him/her a daily dose of this and watch what happens.

(2)PHYSICAL TOUCH: Physical touch has been proven to be one of the best non verbal means of passing across a message. It passes a signal that only your partner understands, for example while taking a walk or chilling together, hold his/her hand, touch or stroke his/her face gently, give occasional pecks, regular hugs, playful punches or bites,  It may not mean anything to you but to them they feel you are really into them or that you can’t just do without them. It sends an emotional signal only they understand. It’s a continuous process though and not a one day practice. When you do this, some will react with a smile while others will love you more than you can ever imagine because you touch somewhere within them where no one does.

(3)QUALITY TIME: I used to have a friend who just wanted to turn her head and see you there, not necessarily doing anything but just being around her. To watch a movie together or just sit and say nothing lol. I remember how I used to always try to pay visits even if for just two hours just so she is happy. When I stopped making time for her, our friendship naturally took a nose dive. Several activities could work here, go out for lunch or dinner, go visit with popcorn and a movie, go swimming, join him in watching soccer or play basket ball with his friends, sit with her at the saloon (some men just died...lol) take him/her to the beach for a sandy stroll by the shore… Be creative. People with this love language love the attention from you and you owe it to them. If you are too busy with work, SACRIFICE will have to come in. If you love them enough, you will place the world on pause just for them. Spend time with him/her now before someone else does. If you happen to be in a situation where you un avoidably would see yourselves everyday, then make the best use of it, never disregard it, appreciate it now before you loose it, imagine if he/she had to be away for a year, therefore see the brighter side, you have been blessed. Remember, its not just spending time but spend QUALITY time with a partner who possesses this love language.

(4)ACTS OF SERVICE: People with this language love assistance from you. Some would say it is more of a woman's language than that of a man, but I dare say men love this too. While some women would love you to help fix her lights, get her food from the eatery, paint her toe nails, help massage her, help her with repairs, solve physically challenging tasks....There are men who want you to do certain things for
them to show you love them, wash the car with him, clean up the house, the kitchen, make a nice meal, help with bank errands, trim his beards and all… Those who
have this language need to SEE (literally) the love you have for them. My little ish with this is that some people take advantage of this to boss their partner around, some men literally turn their partner to a house help, while some women only call out to him as an errand boy. If you partner loves and appreciates your acts of service, then make it a point of duty to always do so, it doesn't reduce your 'rep' in any way, it will only make them feel loved the more (fill their love tank).

(5) GIFTS: This love language is one that a lot of people 'think' is the best way to show love. Yes we talked about Love being about 'giving', but not all giving must come as gifts though, you can give your time, understanding, wisdom, assistance, selfless help....But if giving gifts is the love language your partner possesses, then you MUST do it. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything expensive all the time. Just give him
something that would make them know you think of them. You could get her a an expensive perfume but on another day you could buy her pizza/sharwama or just chinchin when she least expected it. For the ladies, you could get him an expensive shoe but on other days get him his favorite local snacks like roasted corn and coconut, fried yam, potato, and akara...(Local things) lol. Some people barely received gifts as kids, so when you give them something, it speaks a lot to them, that you could say 'I love you' in form of a gift. Presenting the gift is another thing. When you giving a gift to your partner, make it "a gift", present it to them in love and not just one of those things. When they receive something from you, it always reminds them of you even in your absence, it is that big for them, maybe not you but for THEM.

 Take out time to find out what your partner really needs, what does he/she always ask for? What will put a smile on their face? What will fill his/her love tank? Always ask yourself what am I bringing to the table (not always what is he/she doing for me). It is also important to communicate what your love language is to your partner so they can give you what you need as well so there is a balance. Your partners love language doesn't have to be 'your thing' just make sure you show them that you are atleast trying. Don't show them love from how YOU THINK but from what THEY NEED(their love language). Do this and you will be amazed how he/she would love you in return. When you learn to speak love languages that you are not necessarily
comfortable with, you are showing a form of selfless love that speaks for itself. It
shows you are genuine and your love is real. Go out of your way to IDENTIFY and SATISFY that love language of your partner selflessly.