DOWN MEMORY LANE AGAIN .....REMEMBER WHEN YOU DID THESE AS KIDS?

  Sometimes i just love to sit and smile over memories from childhood, in this crazy and insane times, you just have to find a way to make yourself smile if not eh the stress can run you mad. Growing up as kids down here in Lagos Nigeria, you where either called a "kpako" kid (meaning you grew up in the crazy and hard areas of the state, Kpako kids are assumed to be stronger and wiser, they can face any situation and cant be cheated) Or if you grew up in the very luxurious areas of town then you where called an "ajebutter" kid, these kids where seen by kpako kids as the fortunate ones, grew up in choice areas called "rich man area", they went to expensive schools, where assumed lazy and couldn't speak pidgin English lol. An average kpako kid always felt hate, jealousy, or envy for an ajebutter child and felt they will take down any ajebutter kid that came their way. But for me, growing up was a perfect mix of both lives, and till date i'm glad to have done so many things in our kpako neighborhood but also blessed to have experienced the butter life as a kid. So what breed am i then? anyways......
  So today, i stumbled across some activities that so many of us "kpako" and some "ajebutter" kids indulged in as kids years back, i can authoritatively say, with all the conviction in my digestive system, if you never did any of these or heard any of these then you should join Michael Jackson in singing "have you seen my childhood..." because of a truth eh, YOU MISS!!!

DID YOU EVER....

1- kill earthworms with salt?
2- play rubber band? and when one rubber climbs the other we scream "odo" lwkmd
3- bath outside or in the rain? personally i broke a tooth playing in the rain
4- hear about India vs Nigeria in football matches. the line was that their balls turned to lions and            when the Nigerian keeper sees it, he runs away and they will score 99 - 1... remember?
5- sleep in the sitting room and wake up in the room?
6- throw your milk teeth on the roof ?
7- play monkey post or police and thief for the guys and ten ten or tinko tinko for the ladies ?
8- fly kite? the ones with newspaper, those thick brooms and eba OR the kites with nylon , brooms          and thread? while flying they get cut in NEPA wires and you will have to abandon it
9- stick your foot inside sand and build houses with them?
10- write your name on a small sheet of paper and insert it into your pen so no one will steal it?
11- close and open the fridge door slowly to see the lights turn off or on? i thought i was the only one       doing this sha lolzz
12- wave at white birds flying in the sky singing "lekeleke give me......" expecting your nails to have         patches of white on them?
13- mix garri and sugar in your pocket and eat it while walking on the street. (if you did this you are a       king in the kpako kingdom i swear)
14- play mama and papa? cooking with sand and leaves and empty cans as pot. (this was where many       of you discovered your sexuality if you can remember lolzz)
15- play table soccer with bottle covers and empty sugar containers?
16- play koso? a mix of biro and battery cover
17- fall inside dirty gutter and the kids in your area come out singing "aluwe o ja bo si gutter..."

    Do you remember doing most of these? i dare say that if you did all, we should crown you the King of Kpako kids , but well most of us actually did do all hahahaha but i hope it put some form of smile on your face. If you have more you can share with us.

FUNNY KINDS OF PEOPLE YOU MEET AT THE BANK, are you one? find out

 Call me one of those busy bodies in the bank lol, because i literally walk in looking round and feasting my eyes on the different behavioral patterns of people who come in to do one thing or the other. From observation, i noticed we have different types of people who come into the bank regularly, you must have come across them that is if you aren't one of them. Aside those like me (tongue out), who just walk in, do our transactions and leave, there are other kinds of human beings who come in with their own agenda and according to a friend of mine, here they are

(1) The Pen Borrowers: Every time these ones come into the bank, they never come in with a pen, as in they borrow from every living thing in the bank, from the security guys, the attendants, the cashier, those in line, those out of line, those in the toilet, those at home thinking to come to the bank, the dead....sorry!! mistake....., they borrow pens for a living, these guys are very dangerous, the moment they ask for your pen, say bye to that pen or place a tracking device on them to locate them and retrieve you pen or except the ones the angels re direct their steps back to you.

(2) The "I'm Behind You" people: As soon as they get into the bank, they scout for the last person on any available line, they don't go straight to collecting and filling a slip, they just know one sentence "please i'm behind you". Woe betide you if you have 20 people within this category telling the same line to stay behind you and eventually you forget who is behind who, that is when the confusion starts ....."i was here before you, i told obasanjo i was behind him, ask him..."

(3) The No Protocol Team: This particular sets of people never obey the first come first serve rule o, they behave as if their family owns the bank, they are those ones who are very mouthed in the bank! By the time they step into the bank, they know the names of all the cashiers and they move straight to one of them and sometimes straight to the manager, they are offered a sit and in a few minutes they are done with transactions while you are still standing in line like a mugu.....hmmmm there is chineke!!!

(4) The Bank Door Rejects: This set of people always have issues with the bank door. As soon as they get in, the door quietly says "please exit the cabin", then they start to take off every available metal on their bodies, their keys, belts, phones, piercings, if possible their blood, but yet the voice prompt keeps saying same thing "please exit the cabin", i can almost recall a voice prompt screaming at a customer "will you get out of that cabin"?...we usually advice people in this category to come to the bank naked next time hahaha

(5) The Slip Waters: These ones can waste bank slips for Africa, filling withdrawal slip or deposit slip becomes exam for them, they usually use at least two or more slips before getting to fill one correctly, you will see them canceling, tearing, and squeezing slips just to take another and start afresh, in fact the waste bin in the bank was created for these ones, i am very sure they where the ones in school back then that loved to ask for extra sheets in exam halls and we thought they where the over brilliant ones, meanwhile........ coughs...

(6) The Clueless Set: Nothing pisses me off the most than theses clueless folks, OMG!!!! they never know the date, what branch of bank they are, where to drop what form, what day it is, one guy even asked me the date Jesus died...hahahaha, these guys totally act like they aren't from this planet.

(7) The Help Me Read Team. Shout out to our elders who have difficulty reading, you are exempted from this but the young ones who forget their glasses at home, in fact your second eyes, you are the ones we are referring to. They come into the bank and keep asking you to please help them read out stuff, if it where possible they will ask you to read their finger print...lol

(8) Users: Hmmmmm God will so judge these ones, to them the bank is chilling spot, they come in just to drink water from the dispenser, or to use the toilet, to cool off with the air conditioner or to meet with someone for an appointment elsewhere. One would actually think they are there for a transaction but for where?

(9) The Hopefuls: These ones simply walk into the bank, find a sit and wait for hours for a transfer from someone, i usually ask why don't you wait till the sender informs you that payment has been mad rather than go ahead of time to wait at the bank, i know i have offered a number of persons pillows for them to sleep, seriously im just good like that...lwkmd

 I hope that somehow you find yourself somewhere in this list, please correct yourself early so some of us can just come in, transact and leave, we do not have to apply the rod first now, but if the child refuses to listen, what do we do? flog am!!! . And i hope that with these few points of mine, i have been able to convince you and not confuse you that....................fill in the blank space. Shalom.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? OK I'M BACK!!!!!!

 Hi peeps, *smiling sheepishly, been a while since i stepped in here to drop some fun, intellectual or inspirational stuff for you guys to have fun reading, well your boy has been busy and i mean very busy, but thanks to some readers of this blog who called and said how very inspired and cracked up they where after reading some of my few write up, i'm encouraged so okay i'm back and gingered to keep doing this.

 Been joggling between anchoring two shows on television, D Late Night Show  and D PadiPadi show on Wazobia Tv (check it out on Youtube @wazobiatvng), shooting a series called Jenifers Diary with the very funny Funke Akindele a.k.a Jenifer and finding new love, yes you heard me!! your guy has finally decided to try to date again since the whole world have started singing "when will you marry, this year, next year....." and so help me God, this should be it, not like i am under any pressure though but its about time and i can say God has got my back on this one, and lastly been on stage doing plays with the most recent being the funny stage play titled "CHECKPOINT" .......so as you can see i take style busy sha, but will have to continue doing my write ups to keep you'al entertained, no matter what.

 So brace up okay?

REASONS WHY PEOPLE WILL FAIL.

 

 Have you ever wondered whether you will succeed or not or just nursed the fear of failure in your heart? well, i was once there but somehow found out somethings that helped me discard that mentality and fear. If you find yourself up against the same problems and issues today which you were facing years ago, it may be the right time to start looking at things differently. Being successful isn't very difficult, Just model others who are successful. Talk like they talk, do what they do, and most importantly think like they think. Focus on that which is more important to you, whatever that may be, and avoid the things unsuccessful people do.
  There are many reasons why people fail to attain the state known as success, or even happiness. Below are seven of the most common reasons in my opinion.

1-Not Knowing What They Want
 So many people deny this particular point but it is one of the reasons why many will fail. The number one reason why people are unsuccessful or unhappy is because they do not know what they want out of life. You see, life is a like a blank canvas. It is up to each individual to pick the colors they wish to paint and draw any picture they please. If a person does not choose to pick their colors or picture to paint, they can be certain that someone else who does know what they want will pick it for them. When going into any situation, whether it is as simple as a phone call, or as complex as an entire lifetime, knowing what you want is essential to getting what you want. It is the destination which we must have in mind clearly prior to starting any journey. If you where asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT" ? and it takes you a while to respond, now that's a sign that you are in this category.

2-Not Doing What They Know
Knowledge and action are two worlds apart. Just because you know that you need to eat healthy and exercise regularly in order to attain vibrant health does not mean that you will do it.
In my personal opinion, the only reason why people do what they know is because of an intense desire to gain what they are after. If there is a strong emotional need to become healthier, richer, happier, or whatever else, there is nothing in the world which can stop a human will to achieve these ideals. So many leave in dream land but will never get there. To imagine is one thing, to actually pursue it to get it is another.

3-Not Associating With The Right People
  I learnt this early, i spent years siting around broke dreamers but nothing changed in my life, until i decided to spend more time with people who i wanted to be like as well as those that are goal getters. Simply said, you will eventually become who your friends are. Either they will become like you, or you like them. It is plain, yet true. The people who we surround ourselves with immensely affect how we think. We borrow not only their thoughts and ideologies, but also their manners and habits. Associate yourself with positive, successful people and you are certain to become one as well.

4-Not learning and Educating Further
Tom Hopkins, a Real Estate genius put it this way; “No one limits your growth but you. If you want to earn more, learn more.” Further educating yourself in the areas which you deem important and worthwhile is an absolute necessity to just earning more but also advancing your life further as a whole. Want to learn more? get a book, what ever knowledge you need is in a book and you are certain to find more books on the areas of your interest that you can possibly read in the next year. There is also a tremendous amount of free information available of the Internet on any subject you can think of. Use this information to learn more and constantly grow yourself. Educate yourself the more in your field in-order to avoid being stale, the world is fast changing aint nobody waiting for you.

5-Doing What Everyone Else Is Doing
 Before i decided to be a comedian, i intentionally decided that something must make me different, i had to take uo an act on stage for people to recognize me easily. When we have ten comedians do standup comedy in a comedy concert, i decide to come on stage as a retard but still get a standing ovation. That move worked so well for me and within two years the name was out there, that was just before a bit of re-branding took place. If you do what everyone else is doing, you are going to have what everyone else has. This may not be a bad thing, however if you are not wanting to settle for what everyone else has, than be ready to take action differently. Most adults go out and get a college degree, or not even that, they work different jobs for 30-40 years, and are dependent upon the government or others to take care of them in their later years. If you do not want that for yourself, you have got to get away from the monthly paycheck trap. It is a total disaster in the making. You may be working very hard and constantly busy but you will not be going anywhere in all actuality.

6-Not Taking Enough Risks
  Simply put, the bigger the risk the bigger the reward. If you are willing to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, you will have so much more to gain than those who choose to blanket their lives with “security.” The truth is that real growth occurs when you get and stay out of your normal comfort zone. You only gain the most when you push yourself to do things you are uncomfortable doing under normal circumstances. You want the kind of result you have never gotten before, then do something you have never done before. Put yourself to the challenge.

7-Giving Up
Unfortunately most people have been accustomed to giving up as being okay. If you are running a marathon and your foot start hurting, society teaches us that it is okay to stop and pull out because you foot was hurting. The question to ask yourself is; how can you ever win a race if you don’t finish it? ABEG ASK ME!!!
In reality, the last 20% of your effort typically gives you 80% of your results. You must keep going until you have accomplished whatever you set out to do. If you can only learn to get out of your own way and just keep going, there is nothing that will be able to stop you.

These seven reasons are what I believe to be the biggest challenges which stop people in living the life of their dreams and experience the beauty of all that life has to offer. If we can learn to overcome these challenges, and constantly push ourselves to advance further, all of the rewards are ours to gain and enjoy.
May your journey to your best be filled with success and happiness. amen.

HOW OUR JERSEY GOT US IN TROUBLE.....joke joke joke!!!

 

  Myself and a friend of mine Daniel where strolling one night at about 2am, it was during the last Christmas holidays so we still had alot of people on the street, we had our jerseys on, on mine was Pele's number 10 while Daniels jersey had the number 14. While we continued strolling, we took a short corner hoping to get to our destination faster but little did we know that some uncle's w. From the darkness came out four OPC members with guns and canes. They asked us where we were walking to at that time of the night, we tried explaining that we where simply taking a walk but they decided that they will have to whip us individually along with some other guys they had stopped. The worse came when they announced they will whip us each based on the number on our jersey or cloth, i looked and for the first time hated the number on my jersey, the whipped me ten hot strokes that night, Daniel was next and was whipped fourteen strokes based on the number on his jersey. While we rubbed our buttocks in pain, one other guy was already wailing before the OPC guys got to him, we asked him why he was crying like he was going to be beheaded and he said it was because of his shirt, we looked at what he wore and found the image of Goodluck Jonathan on his shirt, we replied by saying he shouldn't be crying but should be pleased he has no number on his shirt, that was when he turned back to reveal to us a writeup and number that made us cry for him
                                 
                                              VOTE GOODLUCK JONATHAN 2015

   2015???!!!.......As i type this, the guy is still being whipped at that junction lol.....only God can tell what has become of his poor buttocks....lmfao.

 

...CHANGE YOUR MIND...CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Today I'm going to write on something that has practically worked for me all my life, and i hope it can help you the reader too. I used to be that shy kid, quiet, invisible, slow, more like the kid that never really got attention. This affected me in so many ways, but most especially with my grades, social life and ability to express myself. I knew i was intelligent and had more to offer than just being ignored, but somehow i didn't know how to change the situation. Like the story of the eagles egg that rolled into the nest of a chicken, days later it hatches and thinks it is a chicken, but as weeks went by, it would look into the sky and see eagles flying high up there and something inside will say "that is where you should be". I remember feeling like this a lot of times until one day, i came across a saying and my orientation changed.

                  "YOU ATTRACT TO YOUR SELF WHAT YOU THINK OF THE MOST"

It totally changed the way i saw things, i realized that all this while i had been concentrating on more negative things about my life than the positive ones, i found out that i was allowing my background put my back to the ground. It showed me how i was allowing negative things from my life and upbringing affect me mentally....wow!!! it felt like a veil was lifted off my eyes. I suddenly remembered a song by Don Moen which says "....and now let the weak say i am strong, let the poor say i am rich..." how simple but powerful this song is .Years back, we used to live in a four story building and my family resided on the fourth floor, it was my duty in the house to wake up in the morning and fill the drums with water. On days when i would wake up and say "yea i feel good and i will fill all the drums", i realized i actually did fill the drums, but on days when i woke up saying "I'm so tired, i don't think i can fill the drums", i never was able to do so. So i changed my speech, every morning i would jump up the bed and say "i can fill all the drums, because i am strong and i feel great" and i never ran short of filling those drums, amazing how the mind controls the body? I applied this to several areas of my life and occupation and i have seen how it has helped me improve too well.


                      AS A MAN THINKETH IN HS HEART, SO SHALL HE BE...Prov 23:7


We never really know how powerful we as humans are. If many of us knew what we carry on the inside of us that can transform the outside, then we no longer will feel as small as we do sometimes. If you think of failure more often than success in any area of your life, then there is every chance that you will fail. If you are largely more fearful of a lot of things, then those same things you fear the most will show up in your life. We humans are like magnets we attract things. Everything you see in your life today came to you as a result of what you thought yesterday, the things that will show up in your life tomorrow will be as a result of the things you are thinking today, so my question is "what are you thinking today?"...what are you expectations? in your finances, your relationship, as regards your career, your future, that exam/test, your education, your family....what are you thinking?. Naturally begin to EXPECT good things to happen to you, and you will be amazed how life will turn out, tell yourself "money is coming, i have the best man/woman, i am the best, my future is so bright, i am succeeding, i am winning......Let me share with you four very important quotes that further gingered me to change my thought pattern.


1- "As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains"

2- “A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.”

3- “All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

4- “The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed.”

Finally, i really don't care where you came from, and what your life experience was, that is simply your life story, you owe it to yourself to succeed and no one else, but in order for you to succeed, you will need to get rid of everything negative that you constantly think of and begin to think of possible positive things that can happen to you and you will see them come to you. POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS BRINGS POSITIVE MANIFESTATION. Today i am a better man and one that the world is hearing from real soon *smiling face*. Expect the best for your life and let us all meet at the top. Peace!

REMEMBER OUR CHILDHOOD DAYS?...how growing up was fun?

 Driving down the road to work, a number of children made it impossible to drive freely because a fight had just broken out due to one of them trying to cheat the other. It took me back to our days as kids, a smile broke through my face as images of fun things we did as kids started to pour in. I was privileged to have been born in the ‘80s and to have grown up during the ‘90s. Those days when we had games we loved to play and television programs we loved to watch, songs we loved to sing and stuff we loved to eat. Let me take you down memory lane. Remember how we used to hurriedly finish our homework just so we could sit in front of the TV and see the colored lines show up on the NTA Channel 5 or 10 and then the national anthem follows, soon different cartoons begin to show up, from Voltron (defender of the universe), to Muppet babies, Fraggle Rock, Dodo(the kid from outta space), Bird man, Magic school bus, Top cat, Spot billy, Inspector gadget, Scooby doo, Jumbo, Teddy roxpin, Pingu, Silver hawk, Danger mouse, Super ted e.t.c. And there where those of us who loved to wake up on Saturday mornings to Cadbury breakfast television. Oh!! i remember how we would wake up in pyjamas just to watch theses programs, such as Biker mice from mars(lets rock and ride), Spider man, Different world, Family matters etc.

 As time went by, other classy cartoons emerged that took us to another level, cartoons such as lion king 1,2,3, Pocohontas, Aladin,  Beauty and the Beast, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Toy Story, 101 Dalmatians, Hunchback of Notre dam…Though, i got enough scolding for neglecting basic chores and watching cartoons, still, i do not see it as a bad habit. Infact as far as i’m concerned, any kid that missed these great cartoons did not have a fulfilled childhood. Many of us used these cartoons as excuses not to go for evening lessons, on days when this plans did not work, we would go to a friends house or just peep through their windows to get a glimpse. Truth is, these cartoons formed our morals in life, we learnt a few good things from them too.

 Playing with each other also formed a huge part of our memories as kids, we had several type of games we played--monkey post, hide and seek, daddy n mummy( this was where many children got spoilt)...lol,i remember i loved to play daddy with my neighbors fair daughter as wife, and there came the moment where we would tell the children to go sleep, and then we would say "its time to produce a child" then we start to *wink* *wink* lol, there was also police and thief, flying kite, roll tyre, play rubber, after round 1, suwe, ten ten....We had some play songs we also sang like "form a big circle like your mothers cooking pot", there was kpan kpan golo, my name my name my name, who is in the garden, holiday is coming, aluwe ojabo si gutter,


  Oh boy!! I am already getting emotional just typing this, gosh!! life was quit simple then.

There where also other fun TV programs and soaps like Doctor who, tele match, Story land, speak out, ripples, checkmate, behind the cloud, Frank Spencer, rentaghost, Chuckle Hounds, Sesame street, Robin hood (i remember the sound track till tomorrow), Santa Barbara, Matlock, Secrets of the sand(Rachael and Ruth), The lady of the rose, Wild rose, Rich also cry etc

 We can never complete this without talking about some of the things we ate as kids too--baba dudu, ofio, condess(iced blocked colouring), M$M, GoGo, dankuya, kulikuli, kokoro, eyin alangba etc

 I look at these kids today and wonder what the world has turned into, worse of all is other generations might get worse. The computer age they say, i see it as the destruction age sha, now children cannot watch television without seeing half naked women in every song or programme. Well i'm glad i grew up when i did, at least i have fun memories today that i love to remember and talk about with friends. hope i helped you go down memory lane, you can share with me your fond childhood memories too. Here are a few more pictures i came across that will help re freshen your memory.